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Hello! It’s been awhile.
As I type this my fingers hesitate across the keyboard. My thoughts go every which way.
What could I say here? What should I say?
I haven’t written a blog post since February 2020. It is now May 2021.
How can I call myself a blogger?
I feel like a fraud. I feel like an imposter. I feel like this is going to be another good try but ultimately a failure.
I’m getting a bit ahead of myself so let me start off with gratitude.
It’s good to be back. It’s good to be writing again. It’s good to have you here with me. So many of you…YOU have supported me this whole time and I’m forever grateful. But I’ve definitely left you hanging.
Also let me say that this pressure I feel about writing and blogging is self-induced. There is no one keeping me on a deadline, no one waiting on me, no one expecting content. It’s all made up in my own mind.
So let me explain.
I started this blog in 2018. I wanted to share stories. To document the places I went, the people I met, and the experiences I had along the way. I also wanted to encourage others to travel or try new things and get outside of their comfort zones.
But suddenly, there was this pressure. A pressure to make money. A pressure to be an influencer. A pressure to write about every adventure, every thought, and every experience.
I saw people around me growing and engaging and making money in this online world and I felt left behind, spinning my wheels like I was stuck in the mud.
I didn’t have a niche, we couldn’t afford to travel, and I felt like someone who was good at talking about blogging, but not actually making money doing it.
When I realized I wanted to switch my blog from Wix to WordPress, the transfer kicked my butt. Just when I got comfortable and confident in what I was doing on Wix, I had to relearn everything with WordPress.
I was back to square one and I couldn’t wrap my head around this new platform.
I chalked it up to a learning curve, telling myself we all have to figure new things out. But that learning curve turned into a month of not writing a blog post, which turned into 2 months, and then 6 months, and eventually a year passed.
Was I really a blogger? Am I really cut out for this?
I still don’t have the answer, however, I know what I do want.
I want to come back. I want to push through.
This right here is still feeling the fear and the doubt and the imposter syndrome and all the questions I’ve had about this blog over the past year, but choosing to put myself and my writing out there regardless.
I want to write again. I want to share. I want to tell stories and document our adventures and create a community.
I want this blog.
I want to be here.
And so I am writing.
But, I am determined to do it differently.
I will not focus on word count. I will not focus on a niche. I will not focus on what the algorithm says.
Instead, I will write.
I will write long blogs, short bits, share what we’ve been up to and my thoughts, however significant or fleeting they may be.
I’m ready to document real life, not the life I think others or the algorithm want to see.
This is a bit of a selfish rant but I need to get it out. To say it to myself, to proclaim it to the world, to be vulnerable enough to have others read it.
So here I am, starting again.
I think we all are.
Each day we get up and start something new while simultaneously building on what we’ve done.
I look forward to sharing this blogging journey, this travel journey, this life journey, and this journey to making money online with all of you.
Thank you for being here. I can’t say it enough but I genuinely mean it.
Just when I question who cares, I always seem to find my answer. You.
So thanks for caring and reading this and being a big part of the reason that I am writing again.
Cheering you on,